9.

Tomorrow I'm going to be arrested. With 18 already, I am about to be arrested in the arms of strangers, they call for me, they scream for me, they want me to be more me than myself. I can't, one more time. There's nothing more to give up from, there is no time for silly conversations, or silly attitudes of someone desesperatly in love. There's a message way to close to ignore. There's something out there I can feel it, I can smell it.
Tomorrow's a festival, eyes on my v-neck, eyes on my legs, eyes on my desperation of being much better, to have a better body, to have my fes with me, to be beautiful, to stop breathing like the ugliest person on the planet would breathe. But either way, I can't actually breathe no more.
I feel so alone that not even the loudest scream in the world could ease the pain. It hurts so bad this time, there is no way out. To walk millions of miles would be the greatest answer, but there's not even money for new shoes.

Can't give up from tomorrow, I've promised, and my word on a day like this is the only way to preserve my sanity. Outside of the world I could be me, now I need to cry.